Writing

Humor

What We Talk About When We Talk About Tariffs (McSweeney’s)

Reviews of New Food: Costco Readywise Emergency Food Bucket (McSweeney’s)

Reviews of New Food: Eggo Brunch in a Jar Sippin’ Cream (McSweeney’s)

I Pledge to Accept the Results of the Election as Long as I Win (McSweeney’s)

Reviews of New Food: Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Sparkling Water (McSweeney’s)

Reviews of New Food: Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Sparkling Water (McSweeney’s)

Brandon, Our New “LET’S GO, BRANDON” Yard Sign Has Nothing to Do with Your Upcoming Spelling Quiz (McSweeney’s)

Let Me Tell You About the Time I Almost Became a Hermit (Barstow and Grand)

Did I Tell You I Take Cold Showers Now? (Points in Case)

My Child Finally Stole from Me My Last Vestige of Coolness, My Spotify Wrapped (Points in Case)

Bukowski on Mocktails

Our Family’s Elf on the Shelf Is a Vicious Psychopath (Frazzled)

My Six-Year-Old Just Dropped a Diss Track About Me (Frazzled)

I’m Your Child’s Friend Eating Over For Dinner and Here’s My List of Demands (Frazzled)

Quiz: Are You Playing UNO With a Toddler or Getting Mauled by a Bear? (Frazzled)

I Had to Abandon My Family to Coordinate Snacks for My Daughter’s Baseball Team (Frazzled)

How I Became the Coolest Parent at the Skate Park (Frazzled)

I Am Danny Go’s Aviator Hat and Goggles, and I Desperately Want to Know the Reason for My Existence (Frazzled)

The Time I Told My Vasectomy Story to a Group of Mothers (Frazzled)

Tonight We Face Our Greatest Challenge, Henry’s Second Grade Math Homework (Frazzled)

An Account of the First Thanksgiving by Catherine, a Picky Eater (Frazzled)

The Worst Advent Calendars of All Time (Frazzled)

Bob Dylan Goes Oompa Loompa at the 65 Newport Folk Festival

Common Hangover Cures that Won’t Work Because You’re Over Thirty (Jane Austen’s Wastebasket)

A Retirement Article Written by the Friend Who Enables All Your Bad Decisions (Jane Austen’s Wastebasket)

Quiz: Are You Stuck Inside With Your Children During a Snow Day or Stuck Inside Prison? (Frazzled)

An Email to the Gen Z Colleagues Who Staged a Slim-fit Intervention for Me (Jane Austen’s Wastebakset)

Fiction

Down in the Valley (2nd Place Wisconsin People & Ideas Contest)

Meltdown (The Los Angeles Review)

Better Than a Horse, Better Than a Horse (Cease, Cows)

Mercy (Jet Fuel Review)

Gelato (Fractured Lit)

Bertha and Olive (JMWW)

With All the Trimmings (Cowboy Jamboree)

Stay on the Line (Cleaver)

To Have a Cerebrovascular Accident (XRAY Lit)

A Perfect Pair and Echo (Bull)

In the Offing (New World Writing Quarterly)

HAD Skull Pile

How to Pick a Perfectly Ripe Watermelon After Accidentally Ingesting Too Many Edibles

Always Dance at Weddings (for Willie)

HAD Skull Cap Review

Running the Scales

I Once Snorted an Eight Ball with Santa (for Tim)

Shithead, Take My Hand

And Welcome to Jackass

My Grandfather After 40 Years Sober Asks Me to Pour Him a Drink

Non-Fiction

It’s About the Size of a Clenched Fist (Brevity)

Little Bird Tongues (Heavy Feather Review)

Podcasts and Interviews

Micro Podcast

Craft Chat (Cleaver Magazine)

Barstow and Grand Interview